ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize