Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
