I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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