Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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