Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you will always have a special place in my vag
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
