Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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