Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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