I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
be right there i have to get my cape
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
