I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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