you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The air was thick with penises
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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