i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
