Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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