my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
