I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
