Too much gin, very little bucket
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
