Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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