Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Life is so much better after having sex.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
