grandma shit on top of the toilet
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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