Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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