Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
