Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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