I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
