I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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