tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
