I'm lost and stupid without you.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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