She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
