i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
