so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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