Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
