Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
