the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
