I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
