the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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