Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
be right there i have to get my cape
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
