Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
