You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
they're like a gay fantastic four
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
