I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
