i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
how drunk are you?
Several
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize