took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
