If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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