drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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