Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
