her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
