Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just high enough for therapy.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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