I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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