She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
