I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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