I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize