Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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