From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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