you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
