you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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