If that was your dad, he is hot
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
