ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
