I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
