I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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