you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
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So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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