got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
