When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
