OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
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I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
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Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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