Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
