love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
