whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
