I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
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We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
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We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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