I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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