you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
