You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
