That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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