I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
