I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
