So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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