Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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