Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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